“Me First”: The Simple Midlife Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
Let me ask you something honest: when was the last time you were actually first on your own list?
Not second. Not “I’ll get to me after everyone else is sorted.” First.
If you had to think about it for more than two seconds, this message is for you.
Many of us, particularly as women in midlife, have spent decades taking care of others. Making sure the needs of the people we love are prioritized and met. We work hard to be good daughters, friends, partners, wives, mothers, workers, volunteers, the list goes on. And of course there’s nothing wrong with any of that. It’s just…
Over time and out of habit, we end up constantly putting ourselves and our own needs last.
Here’s the truth I wish someone had told me sooner: making yourself your number one priority isn’t selfish. It’s not indulgent. It’s not something you earn once everything and everyone else is taken care of. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible — especially during menopause, when your body and life’s responsibilities are asking more of you than ever before.
And here’s the harder truth: you cannot feel vibrant, joyful, and excited in this chapter while running on empty and putting yourself last every single day. You can’t ride in the back seat of your own existence and wonder why the journey isn’t giving you the view you hoped.
The Oxygen Mask Moment
You’ve heard the airplane announcement. Before takeoff, the flight attendant tells you: if oxygen masks drop, put yours on first before helping anyone else.
It sounds counterintuitive. It might even feel wrong. But it is necessary, not because you matter more than the people beside you, but because you can’t help anyone else if you’re struggling to breathe and end up passed out cold in your seat.
The same is true in your daily life. When you’re running on empty, skipping your own needs, and putting yourself dead last, you’re not actually serving the people around you better. You’re serving them from a place of depletion, exhaustion and stress. And if we’re being honest, probably a little resentment thrown in.
That’s the exact opposite of healthy, vibrant, joyful living. It’s definitely not the #AgeAwesomely way.
The Story That Changed My Thinking
A few years ago, I was helping my parents with their business while also trying to build my own. Every day I’d sit down with the best intentions and what I thought was solid thinking: do their work first, get it out of the way, then I can focus on my own stuff.
I’m betting you can guess how that went. Their urgent emails, their last minute requests, their priorities filled the whole day. And my own work? It kept getting pushed to tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow.
It felt like I was never going to get ahead. I was starting to feel a whole ton of resentment too.
The shift that changed everything was almost embarrassingly simple: I decided to start doing my work first. Just that one change. My needs, my priorities, my work, my goals… before anything else. Even if it was something ridiculously small.
And guess what? Everything still got done, but now I was moving forward too.
It wasn’t just about the work either. That one simple shift brought with it massive changes in my energy levels, mood and outlook in all other areas too.
That’s the “me first” mindset in action. And it applies to every aspect of your life — including your health, your energy, and how you show up and experience this whole chapter of menopause and midlife.
The women who find joy and excitement aren’t the ones who have fewer responsibilities or easier symptoms. They’re the ones who’ve decided that they matter enough to actually put themselves first.
What “Me First” Looks Like in Real Life
Your “last place moment” will probably look different from mine.
- Maybe it’s your morning routine, making sure everyone else is up, fed, and out the door, while you’re the one left frazzled and racing to get ready. Stressed before your day’s even really begun.
- Maybe it’s the moment you walk through the door at the end of the day and immediately launch into a million questions about what’s for dinner, cooking and cleaning before you’ve even taken a breath.
- Maybe it’s that you never get to your own health and fitness goals because other people’s schedules always come first.
- Maybe it’s constantly defaulting to fast food to please others, or just because it’s easy and fast, even if it kinda makes you feel like crap.
- Maybe you feel overcommitted with social or business or charity events.
Wherever your particular “last place” frustration is for you, there’s a “me first” action waiting on the other side of it.
It doesn’t have to be a dramatic overhaul. Sometimes the smallest thing can make the biggest difference in how you feel. It just has to be yours — and it has to come first.
Your Three Step “Me First” Practice
Here’s a simple framework to get started this week:
- Step 1: Find your “last place” moment. Where in your day do you consistently feel highjacked and end up last? Be specific — the more honest you are here, the more powerful this becomes.
- Step 2: Choose one “me first” action. What’s one simple thing you could do in that moment to put yourself first? Not ten things. Just one. Small and doable wins every time.
- Step 3: Write your commitment. Finish this sentence and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day: “When ________ happens, I will put me first by ________.”
Then take action. Today, not someday.
This Is Your Foundation
Every positive change you want to make — in your health, your energy, your body, your life — starts with the belief that you are worth prioritizing. Not someday. Not once things calm down. Right now.
Your body is changing. Your needs are real. And you deserve to be on your own list. It’s a daily decision that says: I matter. My health matters. This chapter of my life matters. I deserve joy.
That’s not just a mindset shift. That’s a revolution. And it can truly change how you experience this incredible time of life we’re in.
